Written about all of them, for all of them.
you remember me for the bad things for the old things I did then
I remembered all the good things I did and wish I didn't do them
because you really don't deserve me, butter cold on the tongue shit talked lunged you tried to hurt me
offered a folly of an apology you deserted me
said you were concerned for me
was picking up the pieces the only thing that you learned from me?
that's pure absurdity
while I lathered you with courtesy
I certainly offered you certainty
you stayed in my head and sucked up all these words for free.
you breathe in little skips while my heart does little flips
or are you choking on my palpitations again?
I'm used to blowing little kisses, I'm used to only feeling lifted, letting the heart grow fonder of what it misses
the night was old and we slipped through, the love and wine drunk few, the dj's and writer's crew, you asked me to kiss you.
and I did.
even now I wish that I hadn't, you play with luck in the Midas touch but it's a gamble and I'm going dutch to avoid the havoc.
we met at that table at that bar, I wore a button up shirt patterned the suits of the cards, I shrugged, you laughed,
there's light in my heart, why can we never finish these things that we start
I didn't say it was the only nice thing that I owned that I pressed it to impress you, that it came from dad's home
that I only had three numbers inside of my phone, and I'd abandon those connections to have you alone.
and that the twenty in my wallet that I turned to two hundred wasn't by choice but a fluke, it was magic, it was you
that's the truth, that's the money I used to buy you those shoes after I lost that ones that you walked in in your youth
and now I just laugh at what I forgot, listen to 22 offs and miscount the awful of costs of the 'i love you's' that you'd lost
salt this rotting couple but the layers have gone soft, that stench that you waft the same perfume that you brought
my toe bones are caught in a permanent lock from reaching for your lips because you claimed I was too short,
and I was immature but I still would of fought for the physical sorts you only fucked me in thought.
if only you knew, you were the fire to my fuse
paint these walls with my muse, now I've got my own room
depress me to impress you dress me to undress you
arrest me and i'll confess truths, i'll be uncomfortable soon
rolling on the shoreline, they whitewashed you quick
or was the foam from your mouth from the shallows of a fit
needing to be held, embarrassed on the lift
you asked me to be truthful when you thought you looked shit
and you did
so I lied through my teeth, wind burns at that beach, and I'd do it again
already miss this, a kiss with a fist is a bittersweet mistress in the end we went from lovers to friends
now all my fucking plants have died, from the maiden fern the bonsai, that cactus i tried to hide, shattered against the cold side
I tried to slide my dumb thumbs on the underside of the failed love and that glass carpet that I tread, was a blanket instead,
and intentional or not, I forgave and forgot that Tesla lamp's light that lit a path that I rot
I mean a path that I walked, i was alone and distraught, swirling in the thoughts of a life lost at force,
but a new man learns to strive in his loss I've messed with all ugly sorts, faced the facts from the sauce, skin lifts with gauze
as we medicate this corpse, we fight like our parents and we end in divorce.
you remember me for the good things for the nice things I did then
I remember all the bad things I did and wish I didn't do them
because I really don't deserve you, bitter words off tongues, bad thoughts plunged I know I hurt you
offered nothing of an apology I deserted you.
A Thousand Experiences, None of Them Good.
released October 16, 2016
Written/Recorded/Mixed/Mastered by Hindley
Produced Kenny Segal originally for the artist Milo for the "so the flies don't come" project. kennysegal.bandcamp.com
Artwork by Erin M. Riley with permission. erinmriley.com/home.html
all rights reserved